Have you ever found being gay difficult?

Have you ever found being gay difficult?

Great question and I think that it's a topic that should really be explored. There really is so much to this answer that I think I should take some time to respond to it properly.

The simple truth is that I do think being Gay is difficult, but no more than being part of any minority is difficult. Just like being Human is difficult.

Yes, I am discriminated against by my government and by organizations in my community but that is because bullies and cowards oppress others to make them feel better about who they are, and to elevate their own position. My sexuality is just the scape goat they use to do this. If it were not my sexuality it would be my skin color, my height, my ethnic background or some other thing they could use to cast me as the "other".

I often wonder if my being Gay has had any negative effects on my career or my friends. I wonder if this blog has caused me to lose work and clients. I have certainly noticed that things have changed and that my relationships have changed with some of the people that I used to know. Though nobody has ever said it to my face it would not surprise me if it were a factor.

I live my life quite out in the open. This blog is proof of that. Although I write from the perspective of a Gay man, my sexuality is only a very small part of who I am. I have strived to make this clear many times on the blog.

I can understand how a young person thinking about coming out and struggling with their sexuality might look at the way the Gay community is still treated, and think that coming out and living a life true to your authentic self might simply be too difficult. There is a lot of pressure on Gay men to look and act a certain way even from within our own community. There is a lot of pressure on our relationships to fail both from our own community and from outside sources, who would prefer to look on us as less than equal. We are told we cant be parents, that we can't love, that we can't have children, that we can't be soldiers, and that we are sick.

I will admit that the recent spate of marriages amongst my family and friends has left me slightly jaded. As philosophical as I try to be it is hard not to be a little bit annoyed sitting there watching my friends and family tying the knot without even giving a second thought (casually, but not deliberately) to those amongst them who are unable to share the same recognition. It is hard to sit there and know you are a second class citizen.

But amongst all of this garbage floating around in the popular media sewer and redneck cultural memes, there is a very real human intuition amongst us that we are what we are. Deep down inside each of us there is a tiny spark that says I am what I am, and I am entitled to live and love how I want. We were born free and we will die free. It is when we deny this intuition that we cause conflict within ourselves.

So sure being Gay is difficult but so is living in the closet. So is hiding who you are. So is living a life as a shadow of all you could be. If life is going to be difficult then why not make it amazing and difficult. Why not make it liberating and difficult. Why not make it fun and difficult. Funny thing is that when you do this... the difficult no longer seems sooooo... difficult.